Sometimes, we create our own heartbreaks through expectations. All of us have our certain outlooks from life; let that be career or relationships. We often cringe ourselves so hard to achieve our goals. We tend to let go the hard work and give up on our desires. Some of us run after relationships which does not have a story. Some of us run after career and do not get what they deserve. Well, what if I tell you that there are certain ways to improve on getting what you want?
Confidence is the new sexy
Trust me! This one actually works. But first, you have to know the difference between confidence and self-esteem. Self-esteem is the general feeling about yourself and confidence is the belief you have on your potentiality on whatever performance you initiate. Well, a footballer shoots because he believes in scoring or else he would never have kicked on the first place.
Things get simpler if you feel better about yourself. Also, it is very difficult to be confident, it is not something that you just go for it. It takes time and experience to turn up to that level. So why not fake it??? Let’s fake the confidence. Not in an awkward manner though. As for me, I used to be a shy kid. Very very shy! I was worried about the impression I would put on people. I was only close to my mother at that time. She has been my best friend ever since and she spotted that uniqueness in me before anyone did. I never spoke out to other people whether that be family or classmates. I used to get anxious. My mother kept advising me not to be scared on being yourself, if you are nervous just smile bright and not to hide that silly face you make when you are nervous. I was like okay… if any situation as such comes up in future, I’d definitely try it. Soon after, I was selected in a debate competition. I had to speak in public. I was so scared, so nervous yet my points were quiet attractive but I had no idea ways to present it in front of my friends and students and teachers and principal and sisters and oh my god! There were lots of people. As my turn came up, my feet were shaking vigorously. My mother’s words appeared in my mind and I took a shot; A deep breath and smiled at everyone. Thousands of actions were going in my head. What if they do not like it? is my skirt too short? Can they see my acne? Sooner, the smile of expectation they responded back to me worked super fine. I NAILED IT!! Since then, the smile is all I give before entering the “interview”, “public speaking”, “cameras”, what else? Works fineeeeeee.
It is not always about public speaking. It is also about believing in yourself, loving yourself and taking the criticism productively. Obviously, there will always be those bunch of assholes criticizing you. If you are not confident about your body. Workout for at least 20 minutes a day. If you are too lazy to work out, then there are some simple tips on workout for lazy people you can easily find in YouTube. You just have to be strong inside. Smile, breathe and conquer! That is all you need to control any situation my friend.
How to see through people?
Reading somebody’s mind is actually a skill which “ironically” can be educated. You simply have to know their comfort zone and what actually activates their emotions. In order to know that, you have to listen to them. Listen to their story, be attentive and act interested.
These are the ways you will not be taken advantage of. All you have to do is question not accusing that person but on the topic that has been bothering you. You have you answer seeing his/her reaction towards it. Take for an instance; if I think my husband is cheating on me. I would grab a moment to know his opinion by simple asking; “JESUS CHRIST HONEY! My boss has been cheating on her wife with his secretary and what would he do in such situation.” Well, you’d just know if he is cheating or not depending on his answer or reaction. This is a psychological test.
How to make people to take your advice?
If you want people to listen to you or listen to your advice. You should listen to them first. Do not make it lengthy, if they are talking about land, do not keep talking about stars, moon, galaxy, mars, etc. Keep it simple. No matter how compelling of a speaker you are, it would not matter if you kept on talking. There are certain minutes an individual can concentrate and if you keep explaining then you are losing that person’s interest. Adding to that, 90% of the decisions we make are totally depended on your emotion. You have to be able to make your way through their emotions and then initiate the idea. Common guys! haven’t you guys watched game of thrones where Margaery Tyrell emotionally traps Joffrey and puts her ideas in his head about helping people which would make him a good king and so on. Well Joffrey was evil! And we don’t have any power over evil. That is a different story. So far, you do get my point. Right? You just have to give the clear and genuine benefits on that person’s emotions. No people on earth would like to hear an advice from some know-it-all being. You should let that person know that you might not have an exact answer for this but also this is what he or she could do. You should be able to remind him/her, about the first person to bring up this idea and also you should be able to let him know about the pros and cons about the idea.
The last but not the least, you should know that enthusiasm is contagious. You should have that level of excitement and interest on the idea or else s/he will not have it either.
Get along with any group of people
Don’t you hate that awkward environment with those bunch of awkward people and the awkward communication which ends so awkwardly? Well, no matter how awkward that person is, all you have to do is be patient, let them finish their words first and don’t interrupt. So basically, think about them at first. You should build the importance of that fellow first. Just ignore the negativity. Nobody likes that! Try to understand that individual and develop that genuine interest on that person’s life. Do not just get zoned out from the conversation. Also, studies have concluded that a group of people normally tend to get along if there is an opposing outside threat. For instance; separating groups and playing a certain game involving certain sort of competition. They will do anything to win the competition which will help one another to get along. Also, have you guys realized that if we have a clear cut vision, then usually our mind is quiet and calm? We usually tend to be in a good mood. Likewise, if in a group, we all have something focused then we usually tend to get along really well.
All you have to be is focused, establish a common goal and simply take care with little details.
Secrets to win any competition
Practice! Well, this thing makes you perfect it seems. But also, do not mess up with the perfect psychological warrior. They turn tables upside down, one side to another, one corner to another and what not. Never act on you fear and you should always have a focus on the objective not yourself. If plan A fails, you should always have a plan B, plan C, plan D, etc. lol. Also, do something unexpected, give no warning and never undervalue your opponent. You just have to work on yourself and be confident.
Well, these are the things that has been working for me. Oh! Also, being an individual you should always have an empathy and compassion. People will love you and if they turn up against you. You know exactly what to do. 😉
Liberman, D. J. (n.d.). Get anyone to do anything. Magna Publishing.